The one with the reality check.
Uhm. Reality check Yanna. School starts a week from today. PANIC PANIC PANIC. 
Yes I tried on the uniform just to see if it fits. I mean like you never know…one year the uniform fits and then after summer I’m all obese and the uniform doesn’t fit, yes that’s what I was thinking as I was putting my uniform on. If you know me personally then you’ll know that I over think about everything which causes me to panic, and you’ll know that I especially cannot do things under pressure. Once I’m under pressure I start panicking. A lot. That’s why I absolutely dislike tests. When I’m under pressure I just panic and mess up. To be honest if I didn’t dislike tests I’d probably have more logical guesses. Yep, when I don’t know the answer to a question, I have the stupidest guess because all I’m doing is just panicking. -sigh- yeah I hate being under pressure. Heh. Anyway. Uniform. Right. Yeah I tried on the uniform just to see if I’m all obese and stuff. Also if the uniform doesn’t fit, it’s a nightmare to just buy the uniform from school. It’s just really stressful. Also if the uniform doesn’t fit and I tell my parents: 
They’ll scold me saying that it’s a waste of money 
They’ll blame me for being really fat
This will become family gossip
All the fat jokes will be 10 times worse
See I over think everything. Anyway…school…um…I’m just extremely nervous about school this year. First of all I’m in Year 10…YEAR 10. Oh gosh. How is that even possible? I mean like it seems like it was just yesterday that I was just that shy girl back in Reception who feared Year 10. Nope. Again Yanna. Reality check, you are now that weird, loud, short girl in Year 10. You’re about to start your GCSEs. I still find that extremely hard to believe. Year 10…boy…I don’t know what to expect. Starting my GCSEs, meeting lot’s and lot’s of new teachers since lot’s of teachers left last year (140 teachers I think?), meeting new students (doubt there’ll be lot’s of new students) and starting the stressful process all over again is just making me feel extremely anxious. After seeing that school hate blog I don’t know what to expect at all…Reading the blog did really entertain me because there’s a mastermind behind that blog. The blog was just filled with teacher’s comments about the school. Someone has been collecting these comments for years. I mean like there are comments on that blog from teachers who left when I was in primary school. Whoever this mastermind is, I applaud him or her. Hmm…what else do I have to say about school? Hmm…GCSEs. Well that’s something I’ve been fearing since I can remember. And don’t even get me started on A Levels. I feel like pissing my pants thinking about taking those tests. I mean like what if I fail? I am not the most academic person. In fact, I think I’m pretty much stupid. If my friends read this then um hush. Being top set in all my subjects since I can remember is pure luck. Yes I’m in top set but I get the lowest grades in top set. Well I don’t know that but I feel like I get the lowest grades in top set. Anyway, in my family, well my dad’s side…or just my dad…nah it’s his side of the family. Yeah my dad’s side of the family, particularly my dad, values intelligence. And well…I am a disgrace to them. My older sister is purely academic, straight A student and all, lucky bitch. Anyway that side of the family values intelligence and I’m a disgrace, my parents even told me that I’ll end up in the streets and all my friends will be laughing at me because they’re all successful and I’m not. I’m just a piece of useless crap. And honestly…I’m starting to believe that I’ll never be successful in life…which really scares me…-sigh-. Last year in my Citizenship class, my teacher asked everyone to write what they wanted to be when they grew up…I had completely no idea…ever since I was a kid I didn’t have the slightest idea as to what I wanted to be when I grew up…as a kid it really scared me and it still does scare me today…my sister told me not to worry about it but as much as I try not to worry about it, it makes me worry about it even more…anyway the citizenship class. Right. Anyway at the end of the class everyone asked each other what they wrote. I kept mine secret because I didn’t have a clue. They all wrote things like Doctor, Engineer and as a joke, one guy even wrote Janitor. Do you know what I wrote? Well I pretty much went personal by accident, I said the most stupidest thing. I said I just wanted to be successful. How I had absolutely no clue, how  I didn’t know if I was fit for any job out there and how not knowing anything and how not having a goal just scares me. As soon as I gave my paper in at the end of the class I literally felt like repeatedly stabbing myself in the chest. I’m not sure if my teacher read it because she was one of those teachers who never really checked the students’ work. If she did then fuck. I still do think that I’ll never even be successful, that everyone that I know will just be so much more successful and then there’s me…out in the streets…-sigh- starting to believe my parents is starting to make me slack off a bit…I felt like I slacked off last year..and I’m just so frustrated at myself…I got an A in both Science and Math and a B in English (I only remember my grades in my core subjects)…I feel like I could have done much better than that…it’s extremely frustrating knowing that I’ll be getting less and less motivated as the years go by…knowing that I’ll be depressed as heck when I’m in university…my dad is pretty much well…how do I say this nicely? A bastard? I know calling me dad is a bastard is just bad but I don’t feel bad for calling him a bastard, just like how I don’t feel bad for lying to him, swearing, disobeying his ridiculous rules and even talking back to him. Well basically my dad is very um selfish with his money and he’s faaaar too over protective. Oh and I missed out controlling and sexist. Basically he’s an asshole. He won’t let my sisters and I apply to universities outside of the country because of his stupid excuses. My sister is extremely frustrated at my dad because she worked her ass off for pretty much nothing. Typing about my dad is like a whole new post, so I’ll keep it short. So now I’m not sure if I should work really hard or not…is it worth it? -sigh- all the stress, pressure, sleepless nights…wish me luck next week… 

The one with the reality check.

Uhm. Reality check Yanna. School starts a week from today. PANIC PANIC PANIC.

Yes I tried on the uniform just to see if it fits. I mean like you never know…one year the uniform fits and then after summer I’m all obese and the uniform doesn’t fit, yes that’s what I was thinking as I was putting my uniform on. If you know me personally then you’ll know that I over think about everything which causes me to panic, and you’ll know that I especially cannot do things under pressure. Once I’m under pressure I start panicking. A lot. That’s why I absolutely dislike tests. When I’m under pressure I just panic and mess up. To be honest if I didn’t dislike tests I’d probably have more logical guesses. Yep, when I don’t know the answer to a question, I have the stupidest guess because all I’m doing is just panicking. -sigh- yeah I hate being under pressure. Heh. Anyway. Uniform. Right. Yeah I tried on the uniform just to see if I’m all obese and stuff. Also if the uniform doesn’t fit, it’s a nightmare to just buy the uniform from school. It’s just really stressful. Also if the uniform doesn’t fit and I tell my parents: 

  1. They’ll scold me saying that it’s a waste of money 
  2. They’ll blame me for being really fat
  3. This will become family gossip
  4. All the fat jokes will be 10 times worse

See I over think everything. Anyway…school…um…I’m just extremely nervous about school this year. First of all I’m in Year 10…YEAR 10. Oh gosh. How is that even possible? I mean like it seems like it was just yesterday that I was just that shy girl back in Reception who feared Year 10. Nope. Again Yanna. Reality check, you are now that weird, loud, short girl in Year 10. You’re about to start your GCSEs. I still find that extremely hard to believe. Year 10…boy…I don’t know what to expect. Starting my GCSEs, meeting lot’s and lot’s of new teachers since lot’s of teachers left last year (140 teachers I think?), meeting new students (doubt there’ll be lot’s of new students) and starting the stressful process all over again is just making me feel extremely anxious. After seeing that school hate blog I don’t know what to expect at all…Reading the blog did really entertain me because there’s a mastermind behind that blog. The blog was just filled with teacher’s comments about the school. Someone has been collecting these comments for years. I mean like there are comments on that blog from teachers who left when I was in primary school. Whoever this mastermind is, I applaud him or her. Hmm…what else do I have to say about school? Hmm…GCSEs. Well that’s something I’ve been fearing since I can remember. And don’t even get me started on A Levels. I feel like pissing my pants thinking about taking those tests. I mean like what if I fail? I am not the most academic person. In fact, I think I’m pretty much stupid. If my friends read this then um hush. Being top set in all my subjects since I can remember is pure luck. Yes I’m in top set but I get the lowest grades in top set. Well I don’t know that but I feel like I get the lowest grades in top set. Anyway, in my family, well my dad’s side…or just my dad…nah it’s his side of the family. Yeah my dad’s side of the family, particularly my dad, values intelligence. And well…I am a disgrace to them. My older sister is purely academic, straight A student and all, lucky bitch. Anyway that side of the family values intelligence and I’m a disgrace, my parents even told me that I’ll end up in the streets and all my friends will be laughing at me because they’re all successful and I’m not. I’m just a piece of useless crap. And honestly…I’m starting to believe that I’ll never be successful in life…which really scares me…-sigh-. Last year in my Citizenship class, my teacher asked everyone to write what they wanted to be when they grew up…I had completely no idea…ever since I was a kid I didn’t have the slightest idea as to what I wanted to be when I grew up…as a kid it really scared me and it still does scare me today…my sister told me not to worry about it but as much as I try not to worry about it, it makes me worry about it even more…anyway the citizenship class. Right. Anyway at the end of the class everyone asked each other what they wrote. I kept mine secret because I didn’t have a clue. They all wrote things like Doctor, Engineer and as a joke, one guy even wrote Janitor. Do you know what I wrote? Well I pretty much went personal by accident, I said the most stupidest thing. I said I just wanted to be successful. How I had absolutely no clue, how  I didn’t know if I was fit for any job out there and how not knowing anything and how not having a goal just scares me. As soon as I gave my paper in at the end of the class I literally felt like repeatedly stabbing myself in the chest. I’m not sure if my teacher read it because she was one of those teachers who never really checked the students’ work. If she did then fuck. I still do think that I’ll never even be successful, that everyone that I know will just be so much more successful and then there’s me…out in the streets…-sigh- starting to believe my parents is starting to make me slack off a bit…I felt like I slacked off last year..and I’m just so frustrated at myself…I got an A in both Science and Math and a B in English (I only remember my grades in my core subjects)…I feel like I could have done much better than that…it’s extremely frustrating knowing that I’ll be getting less and less motivated as the years go by…knowing that I’ll be depressed as heck when I’m in university…my dad is pretty much well…how do I say this nicely? A bastard? I know calling me dad is a bastard is just bad but I don’t feel bad for calling him a bastard, just like how I don’t feel bad for lying to him, swearing, disobeying his ridiculous rules and even talking back to him. Well basically my dad is very um selfish with his money and he’s faaaar too over protective. Oh and I missed out controlling and sexist. Basically he’s an asshole. He won’t let my sisters and I apply to universities outside of the country because of his stupid excuses. My sister is extremely frustrated at my dad because she worked her ass off for pretty much nothing. Typing about my dad is like a whole new post, so I’ll keep it short. So now I’m not sure if I should work really hard or not…is it worth it? -sigh- all the stress, pressure, sleepless nights…wish me luck next week… 

The one with the last Math lesson and the last Science lesson with these two amazing teachers.

Goodbye Mr Bulmer T.T Goodbye Mr Davies T.T the school is crap without you two.

Sadly, this is a part of life…people come and go…

When Mr Davies told my class that we were his very last class in school it just triggered something  I’m so glad that we made him a card well since everyone wrote large paragraphs in the card it just turned into a large book.

Honestly if he didn’t tell us that I wouldn’t have cried during break. It was extremely embarrassing since I was the only one who cried but that’s okay. What’s even more embarrassing is that I started crying in the corridor and we saw my English teacher who was sadly also leaving. We took pictures with her. We couldn’t get a class picture since we had our last class with her the day before these class pictures, yes I was basically crying in those pictures with her. Hopefully nobody posts it anywhere.  

The one where I almost pissed my pants. R.I.P earphone users :P

This wasn’t our last lesson with Mr Davies. It was our second last lesson. What’s funny is that Mr Davies didn’t turn off the fire alarm whilst doing this experiment. According to my sister you’re supposed to turn the fire alarm off when you’re doing science experiments. Mr Davies was just like “Okay let’s just hope this experiment doesn’t trigger the fire alarms”. When I told my sister was she said she just looked at me like “Oh boy”.

I can’t exactly remember what the purpose of this experiment was but I think we were just doing this experiment just for the sake of it. I remember Mr Davies saying “We’ll burn balloons next lesson”. I can’t exactly remember but I think the red balloon had hydrogen gas and the white balloon just had air.  

We were late to tutor because of this experiment. When I entered my tutor room I was expecting the usual to already be there but nope. Nobody was there. The one person who showed up for tutor left right after he entered the room. 

The one with Karl’s weird obsession with Jokers…
Should I be worried? This is just one of his phases right?
I don’t even know. Lately he’s been asking for my notebook a.k.a “Book Of Nothing” and every time i got it back at the end of the lesson, I would open it and the pages would just be filled with jokers and things associated with Alice in Wonderland. Maybe this is just another one of his phases. He really does worry me though. I’ve been noticing his really weird phases like there was this one time where he was so obsessed with mythology, he would research about all kinds of myths and just text me about his findings. He researched Philippine mythology, Indonesian mythology and even Indian mythology. I’m pretty sure he knows about much much more mythology from different countries but those three are the only ones I can think of right now…brain fart. Yes I just said brain fart. Anyway, my neighbor and I are in this Teen Wolf group chat where we watch the new episode of Teen Wolf every week and then we chat in that group and talk about the episode (By the way, HIGHLY recommend watching that show, if you’re still hesitant about watching that show um…there’s eye candy for both genders? -wink wink-). One night the three of us were chatting in that group and he just kept showing us pictures of these scary creatures and gave us information on the creatures, he even reminded us of the monsters that scared us as a toddler at night, we wanted to kill him so badly. I COULDN’T SLEEP. Hey Karl if you’re reading this (doubt it), then screw you. You know I get scared really easily. I went back to avoiding mirrors and fearing using the bathroom again (this usually happens after I watch scary movies or when someone tells me a scary story, yeah clearly I absolutely hate scary movies).      

The one with Karl’s weird obsession with Jokers…

Should I be worried? This is just one of his phases right?

I don’t even know. Lately he’s been asking for my notebook a.k.a “Book Of Nothing” and every time i got it back at the end of the lesson, I would open it and the pages would just be filled with jokers and things associated with Alice in Wonderland. Maybe this is just another one of his phases. He really does worry me though. I’ve been noticing his really weird phases like there was this one time where he was so obsessed with mythology, he would research about all kinds of myths and just text me about his findings. He researched Philippine mythology, Indonesian mythology and even Indian mythology. I’m pretty sure he knows about much much more mythology from different countries but those three are the only ones I can think of right now…brain fart. Yes I just said brain fart. Anyway, my neighbor and I are in this Teen Wolf group chat where we watch the new episode of Teen Wolf every week and then we chat in that group and talk about the episode (By the way, HIGHLY recommend watching that show, if you’re still hesitant about watching that show um…there’s eye candy for both genders? -wink wink-). One night the three of us were chatting in that group and he just kept showing us pictures of these scary creatures and gave us information on the creatures, he even reminded us of the monsters that scared us as a toddler at night, we wanted to kill him so badly. I COULDN’T SLEEP. Hey Karl if you’re reading this (doubt it), then screw you. You know I get scared really easily. I went back to avoiding mirrors and fearing using the bathroom again (this usually happens after I watch scary movies or when someone tells me a scary story, yeah clearly I absolutely hate scary movies).      

The one where people can dance and I can’t -_-

Ugh, talented people.

This was during Mickey’s birthday celebration. We were waiting for her at the time and Bea decided to put on the song “Problem” and all of a sudden these three started doing the dance that went with this song. This makes me think of how untalented I am -_- HAHAHAHAHA. Everyone I know can play musical instruments, dance, sing or just have some cool talent  and then there’s me. People who have some kind of talent better be grateful because I have absolutely 0 talent. Pfft. If lazy was a sport, I’d win the gold.   

The one with Mickey’s (a.k.a sexy lady) 14th <3

This was one of the longest nights ever.

For Mickey’s birthday celebration we decided to have a “Picnic” I guess you could say. I ordered the pizza and brought it down to the skate park right next to my house. Lori and Nica bought drinks and made cake which we ended up not eating since the sprinkles were just disgusting as hell. The sprinkles tasted like dust. Uh gross? Anyway we waited for like an hour and a half for the birthday girl. She lives like 20 minutes I don’t understand why it took her an hour and a half to get to the skate park -_- what makes it even worse is that it was humid as heck. Everyone was just dripping in sweat. It was gross but what else were we supposed to do?

So when the birthday girl finally got to the skate park we gave her hugs and greeted her. Then we ate. After that we just did random shit. Like in the first photo I found a pair of pink sunglasses in the sand after I climbed up a tree. Almost fell whilst getting down the tree. Never again. Anyway I decided to pick the sunglasses up and give them to Bawi who then decided to put them on. Can’t believe he put them on like ew gross but that’s Bawi for you. We also noticed in the previous hangout that there’s a random big ladder somewhere so we decided to find the ladder and put it up a tree. Yeah. We were going to go climb a ladder to get to the top of the tree. We’re crazy. Haha anyway it took sooo much effort just to place that ladder. We needed 4 people just to move it. It’s heavier than it looks okay? Then when we finally got the ladder in place Renee or Karl decided to climb up the ladder first (Obviously I’ve got the worst memory in the world but who cares right?). After all that, at the end of the night, we all decided to sit down on the grass and just play truth or dare. Truth or dare wasn’t that interesting so there’s not much to say about it. After that I went home at around 10:30pm.